These few days were depressing. I only pass two subjects for my Common Test, which is Additional Maths and Mathematics. I did not get through the auditions for Ping Yi Idol(my school) and the cast for the movie "Fighting Spiders", which is today. But everything is still quite passable. I seriously feel like screaming at the top of my voice, letting everything out. I think it is perhaps the weather and the stress I am getting in school. Though there were some pleasant and laughable times as well.

I will start off with what happened today, summarize the events later on and ending off with the pictures that I have took.

Was late meeting Weiling and Shimin today for cell group, but had fun in the train. We took the train to the new train station that opened just recently, Pioneer, to go Victor's house for cell group. We bought our lunch there and walked our way to our destination. We ate our lunch and hang around while waiting for the rest to arrive.Weiling asked me a question that put me on the spot. She asked whats the thing dangling under Victor's dog's tail(it is a male). I was speechless as I have no idea on how to explain it to her. Cell group started late today, which makes everything in a rush. I then excuse myself and went to meet Shelby and Shindy for the audition for "Fighting Spider" at Marina Square. I only had two hours to memorise my lines. But I did not get in a lost my words on stage as plans changed to that two person will act together instead of one during my turn. I felt that I manipulated my partner for not getting in. Shelby tried as well but too did not get in because of her partner. Felt dreadful for the rest of the day, we went Muji and proceed home after that. Did I mention that Vivianne was there as well? We met her by coincidence and she got in. Congrats Vivianne and all the best for the following rounds.

Sometimes it is pretty silly on how people are able to fight over little issues. There was a time I saw two uncles having a dispute over alighting the bus. I do not have the details of it. All I know was that one uncle was in the way as the uncle behind wanted to alight. Without a word, he pushed the uncle in front of him. When they were at he bus stop, they threw words at one another, and before you know what was happening, words turned into punches. We might think that it is absurd, two men in their forties fighting? Childish. But though we may think like this now, sometimes we ourselves also do some foolish things that we all we can do is smile at them when we recall them in the future. I mean we have no point baring a grudge over this kind of this right?

Last Thursday was perhaps the worst day this week. I was late for school and had to copy the whole code of conduct. I got the news that my school was hosting a Ping Yi Idol. I had no preparation and sang "I lay my love on you" this was the only song I know how. I was then rejected. The teachers said that my voice is too weak as I sort of overdid it. But Shelby And Hydir did got in. I went to Guang Xiang house later and he taught me guitar. I totally appreciates it as this brightens my whole again.

So here are the pictures, enjoy.

I met Yvonne and Biqi(my childhood friends) by coincidence.
Went to Tampines Mall Ajisan with them.

Yvonne reminds me of Kristy

This was taken in class

Mei Foong

Divya

Pei Ling

Fauzan

Chen Sheng

Alan Wee

Donovan

These two pictures were edited,
but I think they look really nice.

Shindy

These two pictures were taken while I was waiting for bus at Expo.
Was really bored then.

The new Jurong Point is definitely females paradise. So guys, beware of your girlfriends when you bring them there. We had our service at Jurong West this week. It brings back fond memories.

After the service, the whole cell group played board games. I used to think that it is bored games. I played Monopoly with Victor, Wei Long, William, Andrew and a girl that I her name I never knew. I won the won the game with $4650, all the railways and utility board.

On the way home, we played a very stupid passing message game. We were getting a lot of attention from the whole cabin until a women came to us and requested us to keep the volume down.

And when I reached home, I realized that I can actually upload pictures from my phone to the computer via another cable of mine. So cool. I will be uploading pictures that I took last time.

This sunset was taken on the first day of year 2009 at East Coast Park. Too bad, the clouds are blocking the Sun.

Jaslyn sent me a lame message today. It goes like this:

He came at night..




Explored my body..




Got on top of me..




Touched me..




Bit me..




Sucked..




Swallowed..




When he was satisfied..




He left..




I was hurt..




Damn mosquito!

I seriously do not feel like waking up today. Reached home past midnight yesterday to work on my CME project last night. It was suppose to be a group work and I ended up doing alone, but of course with a some help from Shindy. A lot of thing happened and I finally got my project printed out. I was actually kinda discourage when I saw other groups' work. But once I saw mine, I felt safe and secure. All my group members love it, especially the discriptions I have done for them, it was as though I was in their mind. The teacher on the other hand, love the quotes that were inside. My quote is from Leonardo da Vinci. He said, "Art is never finished, only abandoned." And I totally love it. Teacher said that ours might be one of the highest in class cause our work is original. Too bad that I cannot make it into a book, or teacher will give me full almost full marks.

Both yesterday and today I did something different from what I usually do, and it brought quite a bit of trouble and distractions. But these are nothing. It actually made my day filled with more fun and suprises. Therefore, be open to changes, or make it yourself, you will not know what kind of surprises youwill get.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL!

Just came back from my service, and it was awesome, though I kinda know what is it about and the message is not for me currently.

I went for all the prayer meeting this week and it was powerful. Wai Yin told me that do expect something from God if I go, so I got it, a few revelations. I will share it with you if you ask me, dun want to post this entry too long.

I also get to go for Poh's lesson this week. It was terrific. Poh is my church's guitarist and he is a professional, so better not underestimate him. One of the thing that I really learn from him was that being creative with your time with God during your quiet time. It was amazing. He also told us the difference between being interested and being committed things. The main point is that commitment is that there are no excuses, whether if it is rain or shine, you will still do it.

The prayer meeting also allow myself to get back together. Thank God for it. And by the way, the reason I went for the prayer meetings are not for the reward that the church give, but the reward that God gives. Amen.

Today's Valentine's Day was not successful. I failed to write the song that I was suppose to. The bookmark that Guang Xiang made only has his picture in it as all the brothers do not hav the time. The sparklers that were meant to suprise the sisters were not able to be lighted on time. We still hav fun in it though, and I also got a brownie from Luke. That is so sweet of him.

I am through for today. I am going to have to brownie now to make sure that I have a good dream tonight.

Sorry for leaving you out to rot for so long. No choice, I have to write English journal everyday. So you will not expect me to write the same things twice right?

Lets cut all the boring stuffs in school and go straight to the point. I went to look for my Mum today and she wanted to give me a hundred bunks to get myself at least one set of Chinese New Year clothes. But I did not want to accept it, not that it is too little, but I just feel that I should not be taking money from her when her income is already low. I told her that I will not accept a single cent from her but she insisted that I should a least take fifty bucks to get myself a top. I accepted it reluctantly and went to get my dinner. While I was eating, my mum caught me crying and asked me what happened. But it was actually the fifty dollars that she has given, I felt there was no point of me accepting that money. I insisted on giving it back to her, promising her that I will let her know if I have any need, and she took it back. When I was about to leave, I saw my mum's eyes being puffy and face being red. These are signs of my mum crying. I cannot help but tears starts flowing down once again when I walked towards the bus interchange. Have I done any wrong to my mum? But I know that I have let her down by not accepting it. She felt that it is

Today is my cell group multiplication day, whereby we are divided into two cell groups. It was held at Sheila's house condominium function room. The whole place was beautifully decorated and also very spacious. We played some games, sang a few praise and there was the appreciation ceremony. I got the loyal award, together with Wei Long, William, Andrew and of course Chaiern, the most loyal member in E456.

When the time came to announce the allocation of cell groups, everyone was really scared and anxious. Each of us is given a number, and as soon as your number is called you will know where you belong. I was the second to came out and know my new group members as soon as their names as their numbers are called. This was very aching period for me. Though I have not spend as much time with them, yet I have the feeling being with them when I view their blogs though my presence is not there. Their ups and downs, even things that they did not say in their blogs, I somehow experience it. True enough that I might feel left out most of the time, but I am blessed and glad to be in this cell group. I might not have much memories of it, but these little ones are precious to me. I will keep it dear to me.

Throughout the whole announcement, not a tear was shed from my eyes though I was anguished. But the moment I I know that Kengsern is not going to be in the same cell group as I am, my heart sank even deeper. Though I was expecting it, but I could not accept it. And whenever he come and talk to me just now, streams of tears stared flowing. I tried to walk away from him, but yet I still do want to talk to him. The reason I miss him so much is that he has truely set a print in my life, a big one. He was the only one I can relate to the most after Thomas, though there were some stuffs that I cannot speak to him about. But I am sure he knows what is it, but it is just that he want me to tell him personally. All I can say is that he is a very good leader and a friend. Thank you Kengsern.

Right now, I am in Wai Yin's cell group. But we have yet to know the new cell group number. All we know is E***. I believe that I am able toadapt into a new environment and be a great servant in it. To tell you the truth, tears are flowing as I posting now. I will miss you, E456.

First day of school today and was sent home due to unacceptable hairstyle. So I went to KFC to have my breakfast while reading Today newspaper.I cannot believe that I actually took more that two hours to read the paper and have my breakfast. I then went to have my haircut at standard hair salon. I took my time there looking through a magazine to find a suitable hairstyle to go to the school with. With that, I took slightly more than an hour in the salon. I am please with my hair now, though it would look nicer if there is a contrast in my hair colour. too bad I cannot dye my hair. I took my lunch upon my way home and here I am now. I will now go take a rest. Bye bye.

Yesterday was crazy. I went out to celebrate Countdown for Year 2009 at East Coast Park and tried out inline-skates(rollerblade) for the first time. I did fell a few times but everything was okay, except a few cuts here and there. Xuan Yi is incredible when he was skating. He seems like a different person to me. He even helped me with my skating. But there was a fall that seriously injured me, it a when I was going down the slope. Wei Xiang was ahead of me and fell. I was behind looking at him when I began to fall too, even better, in the same manner. I hurt my back then but I guess I should be okay. After which, we went further down the park and I was not able to catch up with them due to some reasons. First, I was not able to skate as fast. Second, I was dead tired due to the lack of sleep for the past two days. Third, my feet and ankle really hurts from the skates. I even "sleep-skate" on my way back with the others. Good thing that Chuen Heng and Xuan Yi was there to give me a push when I was sleeping. Thanks guys!

I dropped dead once we reached back to our camp while Aaron practice his guitar and the others went to get dinner. Chuen Heng bought my dinner for me last night. He indeed is a great brother. Thanks Bro!

As the countdown draws nearer, everyone in the park started playing with sparkles, we were no exception. It was magnificent. There were also red luminous objects levitating above the sea. Soon there was the countdown and there was the start of the year 2009. After which, we celebate Hui Shan's birthday and continued playing sparkles, which one of the sparkle bit hit in burnt Chaiern's eye. We were not sure of who who is responsible for it, but I should say that the fault belongs to everyone who played with the sparkle. So all I have to say is Sorry Chaiern.

The rest of the night was a bit dull, yet cooling and peaceful. We waited till the wake of the morning to witness the first sunrise of 2009. Unfortunately, the clouds were too thick due to the fireworks last night.

We went to have Macdonald's for breakfast and went seperate ways. I went to my Mum's house and died there from the pain of my back. When I woke up, I contacted Bee Hwa to return her skates to her. And in return, she brought me food from her grandma's birthday party. I was starving then so I really thank God for the food. And also Bee Hwa.

After that, I went to meet up with Josh to accompany him to have a hair cut and go home together. Thats all.

Have been working these few days to earn some money for my Chinese New Year clothes. It was really fun and dirty. Quite a lot has happened past few days.

My Grandpa was advice to go for for a heart bypass surgery by the doctor. And if he does so, his leg would have to be amputated to use a piece nerve to do the surgery. It will be quite a risky operation. Hopefully my family chose not to do the operation. As of right now, we are awaiting for further details from the doctor for what they have to say for my Grandpa's situation.

This year's Christmas was indeed different. Though I did not manage to bring any friends with me, but I manage to plant seeds into people's lives once again. During the gift exchange, I gave a note book and received a yellow lanyard in return. And when Guang Xiang sow a banana and received a monkey last year, his sister too received a monkey this year. By the way, I was the one that received the banana last year.

As for my Christmas, I was rotting at home with nothing to do. To kill time, I played my guitar, watch crazy videos, but none was dirty, and sing Christmas carols all alone at home.

26hours left for the year 2008 and it will be a whole new year. I will be celebrating the countdown with my cell group, staying overnight at east coast park.

I am down with my contacts, yet I still cannot reach out to anyone. But I still believe that God is going to something thing great and awesome with me. I have promise God that I will be the spark to the revival in Ping Yi and I can do it because I got God with me. Amen.

Stayed at home for these two days and everything was boring. How I hoped for someone to ask me out or someone willing to go out with me. But no one called me, neither did anyone want to go out with me as they are either working or just not bothered to come out.

I really thank God for the Westies in the cell group. They allow me to witness what a revival is and also amazed by their passion for God. What I can say is that they have written a chapter in my life, and they are still writing it. Jurong West people, God is going to take you guys up to the next level to do greater things than you have ever seen or done. It is going to be tough, but God has made you tougher. Go for it!

Visited Grandpa, but he does not look very well. He has been coughing all the way. I did not have the chance to talk to him, not to say even praying for him. He has been chatting with my uncle who just came back from Indonesia. I guess I will just come back some other day to pray for him.

After visiting my Grandpa , I have dinner with my family. Everything went well, but I am still worried about Grandpa. Hope that he will rest well tonight.

Today's candlelight service was great and magnificent. The whole service was ignited with thousands of candles. There were lots of friends, there were even Natalie's parents. Someday, my parents will surely come.

The Christmas party will be postpone to Wednesday. I am kinda please with it cause I can go visit my Grandpa tomorrow.

My Grandpa went out of ICU today. I was really worried about him for the past few days. I really hope that I can pray for him tomorrow.

Today's Christmas Party at Wai Yin MaMa's group was crazy. I even injured myself when we were playing "Atom & Molecules." Everything was held in Dayan's house for Wai Yin MaMa's group. A lot of friends also came today, too bad my friends were too busy to come and they missed out all the fun.

We watched "My Hope Singapore" video and it was great. It was a successful turnout. Lets pray that they will be back for Christmas service.

My grandpa is still in ICU today. But I do not have anytime to visit him these few days due to Christmas preparations.
Sorry Grandpa.

I was suppose to meet up with Joshua at 1.30pm today, ended up waking up late at 1pm cause my Dad went to switch off my alarm, and took a cab to school. We are going to take our N' level results today, yet it does not appear so to me. When I reached school, I saw Alvin instantly, though I could hardly recognize him. He have changed quite a little, but just not knowing what was the change. And as usual, I will go meet "168 Bros" before we go up together.

We went up , go through the boring talk and took our results. I did fairly well for my N' level and my aggregate is 5 points. It was not to my expectation to get this well. English - 2, Combined Humanities - 4, Additional Mathematics- 4, Mathematics - 1, Science(Physics/Chemistry) - 2, Principles of accounts- 4. This result surprised everyone, including myself and the teachers, as my attitude towards studies is not very pleasant. I will always be sleeping in class and fail to hand in any work. There is no way I am able to beat my friends. Getting 5 points is not into consideration. Truly this is a work of God.

I was thinking last night that if I am not able to make it to Sec 5, what ITE courses will I go. I even prayed to God to allow me to go to Sec 5. But yet after I got my result, I was in a dilemma of whether or not should I go to Sec 5. Mdm Anisa told me, "According to your results, you should go to Sec 5. But by looking at my attitude and behavior, I should give a deep thinking to it." These words did not affect me very much, but it does make sense. I went to talk to Yong Xiu and Dayan about it, and they do not encourage me to go ITE as it is a waste of time, and there is no guarantee. Then I remembered, I prayed to God last night to allow me to be promoted to Sec 5, so I am able to be the salt and light in the school, and more importantly, bringing revival to Ping Yi. God has now blessed me with the results as I have asked, but am I going to take it? So I have decide to go to sec 5 next year.

I am suppose to be happy today, but received a bad news. My grandpa was just admitted to hospital this morning cause he complained that he is having some breathing difficulty in the morning. I am really worried about my grandpa and I heard from my mum that he is unconscious. I was praying for my grandpa on my to Riverwalk for prayer meeting.

During the prayer meeting, Bedok North and Jurong West shared their testimonials on their revivals. I believe that Ping Yi's revival is near. Amen!

Was tidying up my room last night when I came across all my old memories. The warmth and joy still stick within them, memories that I can never forget. It is also the time when I came across Jesus in my life. Those period were the best and can never be replaced. Truly I thought, in every area of my life, God has never once forsake me and neither He ever will.

I came across a small book that was given to me last time. Inside I wrote," A vision without working is daydream, but working without vision is nightmare." Yet I have forgotten about this. I lost my vision and I do not know when did it go. Did I do something that my vision ran away? I have never thought of myself losing the way I was going. A vision is the light and way in which push us to go further. I am too caught up with the present and the problems that I have neglected everything else.

I have been sleeping late these few days, turning in at around 5am-6am. But I get to enjoy these times as I get to understand myself more and also drawing closer to Him. I thank God for the Jurong West people, they really do brought me uncountable numbers of wonderful times. Thought I am not with them, just by looking at them allow me to feel the joy.

I will be getting my N' level results tomorrow. I doubt if I am able to go to Sec 5. Shindy was asking me to compete with the all time top student, Robert, next year if I am able to go to Sec 5. But I have no passion for studying. Perhaps I will try to take Robert on as a friendly competition.

Christmas is coming.......

When was the last time I updated my blog? Not so sure about it. Have to apologize as I did not have anytime or chance to use to computer. Sometimes, I feel asleep before I finish updating my blog. Is it not ridiculous? But I will still try to update as much as possible. I'm also aware that my blog is very boring due to the lack of music and pictures. But the reason I do not want to put any music is cause it might interrupt the songs that you are listening. And I do not have a camera, therefore there are no pictures. If I were to have !, I will surely post hundreds of them.

I went to Sini's chalet a few days back, it is actually past midnight when I got there, so I can call it Friday. There was chili crab, bee hoon and some barbecued food that were left for me. I felt so blessed. The chili crab was delicious, and I learn how to eat a crab. It is not difficult actually, just that I do not have a good interaction with it and ended up having the gravy all over my hands and face.

We then took a morning walk at Pasir Ris Park. I almost step on a snake, to be more precise, a head of a snake that is alive. It was just a few milimetres away from the sole of my shoe. I turely thank God for that.

I will update more the next time.

My first night sleeping back at my dad's place did not go very well. All it did was taking away the headache I had last night in return with a present for me, a present that ruined my whole day, a cold. Thank God that I'm all better now.

Asia Conference is tomorrow and I have chosen the Elective courses that I will be going, other than the ones which the cell group will be going, which is "Youth Ministry", "Building a Healthy Self-image", and "Effective Counseling". The courses that I will be taking will be listed below, with their reasons under it.

Social Etiquette & Personal Grooming
It was Guang Xiang that encourage me to come for this course as he said that people paid big bucks just to attend this kind of course. I am not really sure about this but I do believe that social etiquette is really important in situations where you get to meet people with different status. It helps you to interact with people in a more proper and comfortable way.

By helping you to interact with people, you may better communicate with someone with a better composure. It helps you in your business as you speak with clients, your confidence and evangelising. However, did I not learn them in school? Well, I guess it is better to learn something more.

Songwriting For Praise & Worship
This is something new to me as I have a few tunes beating in my heart for quite sometime. I have actually written a worship song and I felt the the joy and the heart of the song.

Art of Worship Leading
Singing for God has always been my passion. I believe that worshipping God is not worship the worship song, but worshipping God is to lift your heart and voices to sing for Him and to Him. It is said that music is the soul of men. It touches the heart and goes deep within. Worship allows you to open up the heavens and reach into the presence of God.

There are some other courses that I would like to take part in. These are "Effective Evangelism", "Cell Group Leadership", "Men's Ministry", "Adversity Quotient & Emotional Quotient", "Coping With Depression", "Helping Someone Break An Addiction", "Dynamics of A Contemporary Worship Band". But too bad I can only take 6 courses. I will have to wait till the next Asia Conference.

Back Again..

Hi everyone, I am back to update my blog again. I am just hoping that there will be someone viewing it. And once again, it is going to be boring.

My Time Staying Alone At My Mum's Place
It was really terrific to be living alone at my mother's place as I get to do whatever I want, having really nice meals and most importantly, smoke-free environment. I also fell in love with the bathing products that my mum uses, I mean the are seriously suitable for every part of my body. I think I might getting those products sometime.

But too bad there is no internet access at my mum's place, even though there is a laptop for me to play, but it is kinda boring. But the time I spend there is really simple and nice. I played my guitar, watch the television and the movies that my mum has, exploring her house and of course, having a good rest there like never before. Sleeping in there for an hour is as though you slept for hours, that is what I came to realize what it truly mean to rest.

Having said how great and wonderful is the house, the food around the area is also tempting. Every time I went down to get some food, I felt like buying all sorts of dishes. Not that I am so hungry that I can eat a horse burger, but it is just simply the smell, taste and the look of the food all just look so appealing. Perhaps I might exaggerate a little. By the way, my mum is living somewhere near Eunos train station and it is a one room flat, in case you thought I was living in a palace.

My Working Experience With Joshua's Dad
I was working with Joshua's father, together with Joshua, Khairul, Kevin and Daryl, as an installer of Christmas decorations for all Fairprice supermarket. I am not sure if mine is really counted as working as my task was the easiest of all. All I have to do was help carry a little garlands, writing down the amount of items we were using and speaking to the managers. My friends job is a little harder, they were suppose to carry the items, put them up(which includes climbing up the ladder and hammering) and carry them back to the lorry. I guess it is all because Joshua's family think that I am a "tau-hu"(bean curd), soft and delicate.

It was not very easy as we were running on a tight schedule and also fighting for space with the customers. But everything was still fun and all.

There was one night when Kevin brought a laughing gas and we were playing with it on our way home. Everyone was laughing their head off on the back of the lorry except me. Not that I did not try the laughing gas, but it is just that the laughing gas has simply no effect on me no matter how many times they try it on me. But the laughing gas do make me feel light-headed. I felt as though I was dreaming and your senses just tells that I am not recording anything in my memory and it is not reality. Joshua said that it is as though you are drunk and whatever you say during that time will be the truth. Thankfully that laughing gas has no effect on me and I am able to keep my mind clear after a while.

Elements I

N' level will be starting again next week, and I am not really prepared yet. I am getting use to the things around once more, but the problem is that whether I can make it in time. Everything seems to be like a playback of my memories. It stood a test of time where everyone have to go through. Everyone will have a special yet equal destiny, but how would you want to hold it?

How would you want to shape your future? Treasures stood a test of time and pressure. Just like a diamond, being left underground for more than millennium, withstanding all the pressure, and finally, it turn from a useless carbon like charcoal into precious and hardest element, still the same carbon, but as a diamond. Diamond really stood out in the rest of other elements, but can we stand out like it?

Which is the element can be compared to a diamond? Gold perhaps? But gold did not withstand the pressure. It is just being hidden. It stood the pressure but was not change into something different and more magnificent. It stood the same. It was more precious than carbon, but after the test of time, it is carbon(diamond) that beat gold. Which is more precious then?

There are a lot more things I would really like to share, but I will have to wait till the next time. This is just the first part. So do come back the next time, I hope I am able to continue. Good night.

Low in the Spirit..

It have been more than a week, yet I am still very depress and sad. I was suppose to study with some of the cell group members today as Aaron was complaining last night that he have nothing to do today, so I suggested to come out to study together. I asked Chaiern and Jingliang along as the more the merrier. Thus, I let them decide the venue to study and they said that they want to study at City Hall...

I will end here tonight. Do not have the mood to blog.