Rededication to God

I rededicated my life to Jesus today. It was during the alter call when Kengsern asked me to go down. I thought at first that he would like me to accompany the new friend, Aaron. Speaking of Aaron, he received the touch of God and cried. I believe Kengsern is a very anointed man. I can see him raising up as a cell group leader very soon. Back to the topic, after comforting Aaron, Kengsern pull me aside and ask if I want to rededicate my life.

I know he sensed and discerned what have I been going through and what have I not done. True enough, I have not do my quiet time for a long time. And when I do, I would mostly use the time to praise and worship the Lord. I have not been reading the Word, never. Though God has really been speaking to my to read His Word and also to raise up to an occasion.

But I am scared. I am afraid that I do not have what it takes to raise up. I am afraid that when I do my quiet time, God is not there. Therefore I kept procrastinating. Procrastinate about me going to pray once my guitar is fixed. Procrastinate about fixing the guitar the guitar once I have the money.

I am so disappointed in myself. Am I even suppose to call myself as a Christian?